after Joe Brainard

I remember exactly how many steps lead to the basement.
I remember cutting my finger on the coke can.
I remember my body turning from muscle to cement,
While you told me I was your biggest fan.

I remember tongues and eyes and hands.
I remember theoretical bonds and bands.
I remember what it is to be awake asleep.
Secrets, sorries, sisters, are mine to keep.

I remember promises and praying for forgiveness.
I remember promises and paying for benevolence.
I remember imagining the future people.
Hoping to skip these parts and die an eagle.

I remember fear. I remember rage.
I remember pages of blood being buried away.
I remember life. I remember death.
I remember pain when joy gives her all to stay.

I remember food and wet teeth.
I remember remembering to breathe.
I remember begging my mother to love me.
I remember urine and trumpets on my knees.